Thought I'd make a few notes about things going on here around the holidays. Joe, Julie, Stacey, Levi and Micah left early Sunday morning for Auburn Alabama for a short visit with Erin, Eli and Elsie leaving Mom and me here to care for four dogs, two birds and a turtle - and each other. So far, so good, I think.
We had a good Christmas. Mom has been fairly disconnected about it all even though we have been baking and putting the tree up and going to church a few extra times. She sat with us around the tree on Christmas morning and took her packages, having to be prompted and helped to open them. It was probably a little overwhelming and confusing. But it was a good day for all.
I took today off in order to take care of a few things like laundry and tidying up around here and just relax with everyone gone. Mom and I made banana bread - she mashed the bananas and creamed the butter and sugar. While the breads were baking, we played with play doh and cookie cutters at the kitchen table making shapes and stories. Mom is very confused about where everyone is and even who everyone is. Tonight she asked me if I had ever visited her and Dom when they lived "up there." I said that I had and she told me a story about a young man wanting to take some girl with him across the street and asking Dom if it it was okay. At one point today Mom wandered to Julie's room where I was cleaning and then could not find her way back to her room. Over dinner of chicken sandwiches from Sonic (when we went to put gasoline in the car) Mom asked me if the other people left me here by myself to take care of everyone very often.
But the BIG news is that she got her hair cut. I kind of snuck it in yesterday during a outing to the dollar store where we had to buy booties and a blanket for the baby doll she got for Christmas, and a quick trip to the grocery store. Kroger's is in the same plaza as Pro Cuts, which is right next to Subway. I pulled into a parking spot and turned to her to say that this was a good time to get her hair cut. I got the stony stare straight ahead and a "no way" through clenched teeth. I pushed. She could get her hair cut here or I could cut it for her at home. Silence...and then "just two inches - only two inches, it had better not be anything else!" A slow, limping walk in (she does this for effect, only) and Mom was in the hairdresser's chair in no time. I got a chance to whisper to the stylist that Mom has Alzheimer's and is very confused. I let Mom do the talking with my support and she got a great haircut! A little more than two inches, of course, but she does not know that. I told her that she was absolutely right, two inches was just right. Her WHOLE objection was that it had to be long enough to curl under by her ears because - well you all know her prideful stories about her curly hair! It does still curl under at her ears, bot more importantly, it is not so long in the back that she can now actually brush all of her hair herself - more or less.
I may have told you that it is getting more difficult to report on Mom these days. Pretty much there is no drama but what has become more of a way of life for us. Mom does not have "behaviors" as much as she just needs much guidance and assistance and tomorrow she may need guidance and assistance with things differently than she did today. We speak simply and directly in order to communicate, often using visuals when possible. For instance: when asking her if she wants coffee, we show her the coffee cup and ask it more than once. After Mom mashed the bananas today, I had her cream the butter and sugar and said we were making banana bread. She asked if I had bananas.
That is life in Texas. From our family to yours - Happy New Year!! Plan to visit us this year!
Monday, December 28, 2009
Saturday, December 12, 2009
PRECIOUS MOMENTS
You know what? We are all doing great! We have been baking cookies, making candy, baking special breads and making Christmas tree ornaments. Last weekend, Micah and I did some baking. Before that, Stacey and I made a big batch of pizzelles. I brought home from Michael's last weekend, some small easy Christmas ornament projects that Julie and Micah worked on. In all of this, I can't say that Mom participated or understood what or why we were doing it, but she hung around and did not retreat to her room. She even gave us advice about the pizzelles that they needed to be darker when we took them out of the iron. Then they had to be stacked. We took her advice and she was happy. She had refused to do the crafts when Becky asked her to, but today, I sat at the table and started some and asked her to help so we would not have a naked tree. She worked on some of those things like the ones she used to do that are already sticky for a little while.
During the day, Becky reports that Mom comes out of her room dressed with her jacket and purse ready to go pick Julie up from work. Since we began this, Mom has not spent as much time in her room other than for about 15 minutes at a time; I suspect it is because she does not want to miss going to pick Julie up from work. From Becky I know that Mom sits in the patio room in a rocking chair by the window and sings to her favorite Alan Jackson CD and plays with the dogs. Sometimes she sits in the Memory Room and Becky says that she has even sat on the sofa in the living room with her - which she never does when we are here. Becky is VERY high energy and it is difficult for her to just sit, but she has learned that if she gets up to do something, Mom will go back to her room. So she has practiced sitting with Mom when Mom wants to talk. I will include some of the statements from Becky's daily log to give you an idea who we live with these days. By the way, Becky gets Mom to change her pad and panties by refusing to go pick up Julie until she does. Mom pouts, puts on her stony, stubborn face. Becky tells her "you don't scare me!" And mom marches off to do what she was told to do. Becky follows her these days to make sure she does it too. Some daily notes: on Monday, she talked about wanting to go to church because she had not been since she got here; on Tuesday, Becky reported that her reception was iffy and words were jumbled; on Wednesday, Mom talked about her accidents, injuries and when she died (she meant Dinky), said she was going to kick Heidi's ass for pooping in her room and ate some sweet potato pie I had baked; on Thursday, Becky wrote "alert and receptive but still confused about when it's time to get Julie. Showed constant concern for my health because I had just given birth."; on another day, Becky wrote "seemed very confused and words were a mess. Words stayed a mess."
On Tuesday, Becky knew that I planned to take Mom to church for the Feast Day, so she talked to Mom about going to church when I got home and maybe she should get a shower. At some point mom said okay, so Becky went to get the water running and set out towels and stuff. She went back to the kitchen and let Mom know that the shower was ready and Mom did not know what she was talking about. Becky went through it again Mom said no. Becky tried some more and finally Mom got up and said "SHIT" and went to take her shower! I took her to church. She did not know why we were there, she said, but got into the swing of things.
On Thursday night, I knew that Joe would not be home until late after taking the train to Dallas for a conference, so we had a girls night out. Julie, Mom and I went to the little Italian restaurant in town. Mom wore about 6 necklaces and talked jumbled stuff to the owner about being Italian, speaking with an accent and about the Italian ladies at church, imitating them with her hands and accents.
This is only such a small part of our lives, of course. But they are precious memories to us. Sure, Mom spills her food, wears two different shoes, won't eat anything black or brown, etc. etc. etc. But even these are who and where she is and we get to be a part of it. When I think about what I could be writing about next year at this time, I know it will very possibly be something entirely different but no less precious to us. In many ways this year seems like an important Christmas season to me. We will probably put up our tree tomorrow and plan to decorate it not with the hundreds of individually wrapped fragile angel ornaments that I have collected over the years, but with the handmade decorations of our family.
Precious Moments. And just so I don't mislead you and you start petitioning the pope for my eventual sainthood, I will give you Joe's interpretation: "Better living through chemistry". A little Xanex goes a long way some days!
WE LOVE YOU!!!
During the day, Becky reports that Mom comes out of her room dressed with her jacket and purse ready to go pick Julie up from work. Since we began this, Mom has not spent as much time in her room other than for about 15 minutes at a time; I suspect it is because she does not want to miss going to pick Julie up from work. From Becky I know that Mom sits in the patio room in a rocking chair by the window and sings to her favorite Alan Jackson CD and plays with the dogs. Sometimes she sits in the Memory Room and Becky says that she has even sat on the sofa in the living room with her - which she never does when we are here. Becky is VERY high energy and it is difficult for her to just sit, but she has learned that if she gets up to do something, Mom will go back to her room. So she has practiced sitting with Mom when Mom wants to talk. I will include some of the statements from Becky's daily log to give you an idea who we live with these days. By the way, Becky gets Mom to change her pad and panties by refusing to go pick up Julie until she does. Mom pouts, puts on her stony, stubborn face. Becky tells her "you don't scare me!" And mom marches off to do what she was told to do. Becky follows her these days to make sure she does it too. Some daily notes: on Monday, she talked about wanting to go to church because she had not been since she got here; on Tuesday, Becky reported that her reception was iffy and words were jumbled; on Wednesday, Mom talked about her accidents, injuries and when she died (she meant Dinky), said she was going to kick Heidi's ass for pooping in her room and ate some sweet potato pie I had baked; on Thursday, Becky wrote "alert and receptive but still confused about when it's time to get Julie. Showed constant concern for my health because I had just given birth."; on another day, Becky wrote "seemed very confused and words were a mess. Words stayed a mess."
On Tuesday, Becky knew that I planned to take Mom to church for the Feast Day, so she talked to Mom about going to church when I got home and maybe she should get a shower. At some point mom said okay, so Becky went to get the water running and set out towels and stuff. She went back to the kitchen and let Mom know that the shower was ready and Mom did not know what she was talking about. Becky went through it again Mom said no. Becky tried some more and finally Mom got up and said "SHIT" and went to take her shower! I took her to church. She did not know why we were there, she said, but got into the swing of things.
On Thursday night, I knew that Joe would not be home until late after taking the train to Dallas for a conference, so we had a girls night out. Julie, Mom and I went to the little Italian restaurant in town. Mom wore about 6 necklaces and talked jumbled stuff to the owner about being Italian, speaking with an accent and about the Italian ladies at church, imitating them with her hands and accents.
This is only such a small part of our lives, of course. But they are precious memories to us. Sure, Mom spills her food, wears two different shoes, won't eat anything black or brown, etc. etc. etc. But even these are who and where she is and we get to be a part of it. When I think about what I could be writing about next year at this time, I know it will very possibly be something entirely different but no less precious to us. In many ways this year seems like an important Christmas season to me. We will probably put up our tree tomorrow and plan to decorate it not with the hundreds of individually wrapped fragile angel ornaments that I have collected over the years, but with the handmade decorations of our family.
Precious Moments. And just so I don't mislead you and you start petitioning the pope for my eventual sainthood, I will give you Joe's interpretation: "Better living through chemistry". A little Xanex goes a long way some days!
WE LOVE YOU!!!
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