Attention Everyone!

Not much to report for an update on Mom. Joe is unemployed again, so Mom's "friends" are not coming everyday to color with her or do simple crafts. But when they are here, they make it a point to get her out of the house a couple times a week whether it's to the dollar store for coloring books or just running personal errands. They usually eat out somewhere too. They are braver than I am. The only time I get her out of the house to shop is when I know the stores will not be busy and we won't have to stand in line. Of course I am at work all day so we really don't get out that much. And as far as eating out...we keep our routine to avoid confusion and inappropriate behavior. We go to IHOP every Saturday night after church. At church we sit in the same front row and pray that people with children do not sit behind us. After church, we go across the street for dinner. Mom orders the same thing every week - 3 pancakes with strawberries. She likes to tell us she is going to order off of the menu and after looking it over, orders the pancakes. The same two people wait on us every week and frequently see us pull up and have water and coffee ready at "our" table by the time we get in. Taking mom to a busy, noisy restaurant where there are a lot of people and waiters moving quickly is just too much over stimulation and she becomes more and more confused. Mom does not have the ability to reason - that was gone a long time ago - and she frequently acts inappropriately with people. Like hugging the man in the elevator when he said good morning. Like wandering into the kitchen at the restaurant to hug the waiter. Like going up to every child to touch them and tell them about her butterflies. We try to strategically place ourselves between her and any opportunity she has to do any of this. The common thread to any of her behavior including limping frequently so she can tell people about her hip surgery, is that she needs the attention. It's all about her. Joe and I think it is her jealousy that drives her bad behavior toward Stacey, David and the kids. When I remember her in her younger days, wasn't she always like this? Through my aging adult eyes, many incidents, events and issues of the past involving my mom look quite different than they did through my eyes as a teen or young adult. And the answer is a definite "yes". So, I am saying that what I've heard from various people (maybe in seminars and training I've attended) could be true. Alzheimer's does not change behavior necessarily. But it removes the filters and judgement so the behaviors appear "inappropriate." I hope my kids are prepared for that one when they are caring for me!