Friday, December 12, 2008

Some days it's the nitty gritty - like clean underwear

If some of you have not taken a few minutes to familiarize yourselves with the signs, symptoms and stages of Alzheimer's, I have added a very brief and condensed list below.

Typical signs and symptoms of Alzheimer’s disease
…General confusion, disorientation to date, time or place
…Apathy, irritability, depression, anxiety
…Problems with language, math, abstract thinking, and judgment
…Personality changes with strange quirks or inappropriate behaviors
…Wandering, hiding objects, problems with eating and sleeping
…Late in the disease, paranoia and delusions may occur
…Toward the end, total loss of self, and inability to control bodily functions


By the middle stage of Alzheimer's, most victims no longer are aware that they don’t remember things or aren’t communicating coherently. This is fortunate for them. In a safe environment with good care and social contact, most Alzheimer’s patients seem relatively free of suffering. For their friends and relatives it’s a different story: the long steady decline of their loved one is painful to watch. The demands of Alzheimer’s care also take a toll, over the many years before inevitable death. Depression is more common among the caregivers of Alzheimer's patients than it is among the patients themselves.

I add this information in order to give you a core of reference for the odd behavior/s that I will continue to mention in the coming months.

Mom went yesterday to a Christmas lunch with her two caregivers, Margaret and Diann. Our friend Barbara, who is also Margaret's sister-in-law and Diann's sister, holds the lunch each December at a local Mexican Restaurant. Everyone is to bring a wrapped gift for a gift exchange. I had planned to meet them there, but as it turned out, could not get away from work. On Wednesday night I wrapped the gift I had purchased. On Thursday morning after I gave Mom her breakfast, I assisted her in getting dressed before Diann arrived. By the time she got here, I was coaxing mom to the kitchen where the gift was on the counter. I say coaxing because on the way our of her room, mom became distracted by all of her coloring stuff and crafts which were on the spare bed. Once in the kitchen, I had a small Christmas card that she had colored and I wanted her to write Merry Christmas on it and sign her name. It was a short sad moment when I realized she could not do it. Under my slow, but yet unaware direction, mom wrote "Mary C and some scribbling. When I encouraged her to sign her name, once again she wrote and M and some scribbling. I still did not put it together. When I advised her that maybe she should write it again and she tried to cover with something she thought was humorous, it began to occur to me. So I playfully asked her her name and she told me "it can be anything you want it to be." I told her to quit giving me a hard time and played "little girl, you look lost, I am a policeman, so tell me your name and I can help you." Mom pointed to what she had written and made the "M" sound and came out with "Margaret". I did not belabor the point but assured Diann that Mom had identification in her purse.

During her shower on Wednesday night, I got the water running at the right temperature and she got in. I left the room for a moment and when I returned she was doing something with the faucet handle. I tried to inquire if the water was too hot or too cold but she wanted to shut if off. I went along with it and told her how to do that. Then mom picked up the washcloth that was across the arm of the shower chair and already wet, and began washing. No soap, no water. Then she put it down and was ready to get out. I coaxed her into going back in and "rinsing off" but she was totally confused and disturbed.

So many things happen each day that we accommodate or go with the flow with. But the picture on this blog shows how mom was last year at this time. Since coming up with that picture (thank-you Stacey), I have been noticing all the ways that Mom is not that person this year. If you read more about the signs and symptoms of Alzheimer's, know that she has experienced 99% of them. Not all at the same time and not every day. But we still have not found many of the objects she has hidden. She frequently accuses us of taking her money and her clothes. And we have DAILY battles about her wearing clean underwear and changing her Poise pad frequently.

Please do not misunderstand. This is not about our accommodations. But I cannot tell you honestly how she is doing, without mentioning our involvement. When I say over the phone or to friends who ask, that she is doing fine, she really is doing fine. But in the back of my mind I am chuckling because I am thankful that mom has not lost her sense of humor and we can turn anything into a humorous, joyful moment. Thank you all for loving her and us. And don't forget to laugh. You know she is - except for that clean underwear thing!!

1 comment:

Motorcycle grandma said...

If folks only knew . . . .oh, that's why they should read your blog!!! Keep laughing!