The Good, the Bad, the Indifferent

1-800I hope you all know that one of my mottoes is NO NEWS IS GOOD NEWS. Not that I only think about you all when there is bad news, of course, but most days are the same with little time in the evenings to reflect on things until late when I finally give it up and go to bed myself. But I realize that I have not written in several days, so I’ll do a recap of the good, indifferent and forgotten.

On Saturday morning Mom was dressed when she came out of her room so I advised her that she needed a shower before church. After a lunch-time rest, she came out dressed up in her shirt with lunch on it and with her purse, ready to go to church but she had not yet had her shower. So I got her back to her room for a shower and clean clothes. By 2:30 Mom was at the front door with her purse again, unaware that we would not leave for more than two hours. Well, we finally got there, and guess where we went afterwards for dinner? IHOP, of course! This time on the way out, she got in front of me and I had to pry her off of the waitress who served us and whom she followed into the kitchen to hug. I can usually get between her and the people/children she heads for, heading her off and nudging her in a different direction.

Okay, and Sunday was the Super Bowl. There was the usually activity with a little Super Bowl ruckus thrown in. Micah brought her sweet young friend Jaime over and they interacted a little with Mom, who was very cordial and accommodating to Jaime. By association, Micah benefited from it and remarked when she left about Grandma’s good mood that day. It had crossed everyone’s mind that Mom could be difficult and Jaime would witness it.
Last night as I sat with Mom in her office trying to get her into the bath, Mom commented about how nice that “little girl” was on Sunday but “that big one” (Micah) was..and I cut her off! The next hour was an attempt to come to a meeting of the minds. Now, those of you who have been keeping up with us, know that s no easy endeavor. In fact was more like an exercise of futility – but I had my say. Joe too. The bottom line – there are many of her behaviors that can be attributed to the Alzheimer’s but being mean to Stacey and her family is not one of them. I spoke to her about them being her family, her grandchildren. Mom continued to say that she does not have grandchildren. I went to great lengths to slowly and simply explain the relationship between her and her three daughter’s children but it did not connect – she stated that she has no grandchildren and she doesn’t “know those people.” I am fairly certain that our minds did not meet on this issue. We have set these ground rules before and reminded Mom that she will be nice (not just “not mean”) to Stacey and the kids. And in closing, that they have never been anything but loving toward her and that Stacey has never made us choose between her and Grandma. But if Grandma continued this and we did have to choose, Grandma should decide where she wants to live.

This too shall pass though and things will rock along again. Today, Joe tells me, Mom has been up for breakfast, but has spent the day in bed. By now, if you are thinking you need to call Adult Protective Services on us, l would be happy to give you the number! Just remember though, you might not get any more of those envelopes with Mom’s goodies in them! That’s my update for now! A Belated Happy Birthday to Sheila!!! Mom does not exactly know who you are, but she does know that you are OLDER than me!