It's all Relative

We had a great time in Louisiana visiting Mom's brother, sister-in-law and two sisters who were also visiting there. Mom did SO great! The drive, the visit - it was all GREAT. Joe, Mom and I stayed at Ft. Polk, a few miles from Merryville, where my Uncle Dick and Aunt Elaine live. This worked out well to keep Mom's routine with Joe and me without so much confusing activity in the mornings and putting her to bed at her normal time. After breakfast in our room on Saturday and Sunday we drove to Merryville where she visited those "silly people" and even contributed some names and memories to the family tree discussion with my aunts Dolly and Judy on Saturday. We took many occasions to connect Mom to people in her past - people in her family. I think I observed that the one thing that was lacking was Mom's ability to grasp relationships. She has had this problem here at home lately but I glossed over it - reminding her about sisters, brothers, daughters, etc. But Mom pretty much knew that Dick, Elaine, Dolly, Judy and the people they talked about belonged to her life somehow but did not and does not "relate" to them. These have been some of her questions/remarks over the past week:

• How did you get to be my mother? (to me in the car before we left town)
• Who decided I should have daughters? How did I get them? (same as above)
• Did someone just not want you and just put you in my arms?
• Who lives here? Whose house is this? (MANY times while visiting)
• How do I know those people? How do you know those people?
• Elaine showed up about the same time Dick did. She cried. I don't know where she came from.
• Who were the other people there? (when I talked to her this morning about the visit)
• How do they know me?
• I think his name is Dominic but I don't know who that woman is. (when looking at a picture of herself and daddy)
• How did you know Dominic? I think he died. Of cancer. Colon cancer. (to me)
• How long have I known you? When did you come into my life? (to me this morning)

These and many more come up throughout the day in quiet moments when there is no one around and it is quiet. It is easy to assume Mom is engaging when we talk to fast or fill in the blanks for her or give too much information. Listening, speaking slowly and simply and encouraging her to think and talk allows her to express herself - as muddled as she is. I find it surprisingly difficult to keep up with how fast Mom is declining in her thought processes. From day to day the gaps may show up differently but they are still gaps.

Mostly I want to express that Mom had such a GREAT time! She loves to go places and see people and interact! She loved sharing her crafts with everyone and being included in conversations. Mom had a ball! However, the memory of the trip is ours. And I am so very blessed to have shared it with Uncle Dick, Aunt Elaine, Aunt Dolly and Judy and Joe. I wish I had known how to better use Julie's camera that I borrowed so I would have more pictures! Thank-you all for your welcome, your support and your love. We couldn't do this without you.