Guest Blogger Insight

Today I opened an e-mail from David who visited here with Sheriann and whom I invited to guest blog. He was having trouble logging into the site and put his insights about the visit into the e-mail to cut and paste. Which I have done, so appreciatively. Thank-you, David for the visit and the post. I love you.

FROM DAVID:
Been trying to log on and write on the blog but can't get in. So I've decided to share my thoughts here and hope you can transpose it to the blog.

Sheriann and I had the recent pleasure of spending part of our vacation with Mom, Cheryl, Joe and family Having just become caregivers for my 87 year old father we were excited about comparing notes and getting pointers from Cheryl and Joe, who have been caring for Mom for a number of years now in her battle with Alzheimers. What we learned was how blest we are that although Dad's eyesight is very bad and his body is beginning to fail him his mind is still very sharp and he remains alert and witty. Being a regular reader of "The Butterfly Net" I thought I had a pretty good idea of what Cheryl was dealing with day in and day out. But I wasn't prepared for the moment to moment change in Mom's personality. When she was pleasant it was very nice, but that could turn to mean and nasty in a split second.

Cheryl has asked me to share some of the "fun" stories from our visit with Mom. When we arrived I could see a hint of recognition in Mom's eye's but it was also obvious she had no idea who I was. After giving her a big hug she said, "I remember you, we were classmates." Then, as I put my hand on Sheriann's shoulder to introduce her to Mom, she said "She's way too young for you, you shouldn't be hugging her."At that point I didn't know what to say but she had instantly won Sheriann over. Sheri then got the grand tour of Mom's room as I visited with Joe. Mom showed her the butterflies and various "secret" papers she had stashed throughout the room. As well as all of her craft items. She rummaged through her drawers on several occasions whispering, " I have to hide things because THEY are taking my stuff." We could tell that Mom really liked visiting with us and especially liked the attention she was getting. She would touch my arm or rub my back every time we passed and I knew she felt a connection with me and was struggling to remember what it was. It was at these times that I realized how awful Alzheimer's is, not just for Mom , but for all of us that love and miss her!

Cheryl and Julie came home from work and we made plans to go to dinner with Stacey and her family. It was at this time I saw how quickly Mom's personality could change. When we arrived at the restaurant, Stacey, David and the kids were already seated at the table. When she saw them seated there she turned and tried to sit at a different table. She became sullen and very difficult to deal with throughout dinner. Casting many a glare at Levi and Micah all evening long. I had heard how mean she could treat Stacey and her family but really wasn't prepared to see it firsthand. I was both shocked and saddened! Also, knowing how much this must hurt them, I was impressed with how well the kids handle Mom's bitterness.. Stacey and David have done a wonderful job dealing with the situation and are a great source of strength and support for Cheryl and Joe. Love ya Stace!

Another observation we made is how if you don't really know Mom's background and are conversing with her you might think she is perfectly normal. Sheriann had this experience. Her and Mom sat at the dining room table talking for quite a while. After Mom went into her room to rest Sheri came out and asked Cheryl how long Mom had taught school. Mom had told her a long tale of her many years teaching high school and all the kids she had had in her classrooms back in Ohio. Sheri was amazed at how much Mom remembered until Cheryl told her Mom had never been a teacher.

In the short amount of time we were there we saw Mom's mood swing many times. She even became a little confused and agitated at IHOP after Church Saturday evening (the highlight of our trip!). But the one thing I noticed was that she never became cross or mean to Julie. Julie is so patient and helpful to Mom. Never getting frustrated or short. Always there to get things for Grandma when she asks. What a source of Pride and Joy for Cheryl and Joe! Love you too, Julie! Gonna send you some snow this winter!

Can't end without telling about Becky (Mom's Energizer Bunny caregiver during the week). She bounces around getting things done for Cheryl and taking care of Mom with a smile on her face and a song in her heart. Even though Mom says, "I don't know why she's aways around. I don't like her." and, "That mean woman tried to drag me out of the car at the nursing home." This was the incident when Mom couldn't find her crafts to pass out at the home and refused to go in. Once again claiming , "Somebody took them from my room."

We had a great time visiting and spending time with Mom. Brought back many crafts and gifts which Mom insisted we take. Passed the crafts out to the people in my sisters hi-rise apartment building. All the time knowing that "someone" is being accused of stealing them. Many more stories I could share with you but realized I've turned this into a book already and need to cut it short.

In closing I would like to say "Thank you Cheryl and Joe for sharing your blessings with us and still accepting me as part of your family." The world may idolize a whack-O like Michael Jackson, but in my mind it's people like you that are the real "Superstars".

Much LOVE and many PRAYERS,
David