Long Time No...?

I know I haven't been very consistent at this lately. Energy and time are the enemy. I have been working late and on weekends being one staff person short. Here at home on the weekends, there have been new flooring projects, mowing, cleaning, etc. that are getting done when I am not at the office.

The news about Mom though, is that there isn't any real news. At least not to us. We see her gradually slip away everyday. Here are a few things that we have observed and experienced lately within the past week or two.

• after David and Sherianne were here, Mom had another seizure and we have been seeing more deterioration
• changing sleep patterns
• coming to the table at 9 p.m. and asking for breakfast
• not getting up until noon
• having more sleep time than awake time throughout the day
• a tomato sandwich is something she has never had
• Stacey staying with her on Thursday while the caregiver went to an appointment and she had never met her before
• up at 1:00 in the morning at the kitchen table - confused and agitated
• told the caregiver the next day that she was afraid to go to sleep because there were some women and kids in her room talking about taking her walker
• agitated yesterday because there were kids running through the house making noise
• asks me everyday when I come home from church if we are going to church
• not changing her poise pad or underwear in DAYS (caregiver and I are going to work on that one in spite of Mom)
• this week she is sleeping under the covers
• communication with her is very simple and direct - long sentences or not talking directly to her are either lost or ignored for lack of grasping it
• Mom met my brother Lou last weekend
• she would eat only ice cream, Nonni's and peanut butter and jelly sandwiches if we let her
• and it isn't always easy to get her to eat anything else

That is a sample of who Mom is today. She still will not get her hair cut and is very proud of the curls that "my grandma gave me", not seeing the bushy, fly away long hair that she really has. I am quite sure that she doesn't know who I am 95% of the time but she knows we belong here and I have a lot of rules and I take her to church. Rules like changing her underwear, not feeding the dog her food, washing her hands after she has used the bathroom and played with the dogs, ice cream and biscotti are not a nutritious meal...

While Lou was here and talking about Ohio, Mom stated once again (almost every day - that she remembers!) that she wanted to go back there. I advised her, as I have before, that she can go back any time she wants, she is not a prisoner here, there are several nice nursing homes there where she would have to live. She came back with "well if they're so nice, why don't you live in them?" So, she is still being held prisoner here in Texas. I don't think it would do any good to pursue that hostage theory and demand a ransom from someone? I didn't think so.

Now just a note about her captors: Joe and Julie are doing great. Julie is such a HUGE help with Mom in support of me. Their lives are only disrupted by the complications in mine, like working late and having a four day headache last week. I thought is was a virus, a side effect of a new medication I was taking, a random blood clot from wrecking my van two weeks earlier (look, it made a lot of sense after hurting for 3 days) or a sinus infection. Finally, on Friday I had Joe drive me to the doctor who diagnosed a migraine. I have never had a migraine in my life! If I had, I would have remembered the axe in my head! A pain shot in her office and I was human again. The hangover lasted a couple days, but this was a reminder to stay healthy. On Tuesday night after I barely drove myself home, I lay on the futon in the patio room and I swear, it made total sense when I prayed, Lord I can't die until someone gets home because there is no one here to take care of Mom.

So there you have it. I hope you feel caught up on our news and can almost imagine being here. Or even wish you were here! Not so much, huh. Oh well! Keep us in your thoughts and prayers. I am off to do all of the mowing, laundry and cleaning before time for church. We get to go to IHOP again! Love you all!!