More of the Story!

I have been waiting to update this story until I figured everything out. Like that is going to ever happen! So, here I am with the latest details as vague and unsettled as they are.

Mom has been at Tanglewood for almost one month and has not adjusted. The whole truth is, that she is not going to adjust to anything or anywhere. We know that and everyday when we visit and leave without her, we are reminded again. During the month she has been there, she has refused to shower, take her medications and eat at various times. She has grabbed a staff by the shoulders and pushed her away when she thought that the staff was taking things out of the closet. Mom has peeled her name and the name of her roommate off of the plaque by the door. She has been angry and pounded on the tables. All the while of course, flirting with the mindless old men there! Mom lets us know that she "has problems" and she is leaving there. She has packed the two tote bags and the basket of her walker with as much as they would hold and plans to leave the locked unit. Keep in mind that none of her language or actions make any sense at all and every day is a little different.

So, I am planning to move her. Yep. In as much as Mom is not adjusting, I am doing worse. Tanglewood is really a good facility. It is not a nursing home but an assisted living facility, even the locked Alzheimer's unit. The reason I am moving her is that I need more. I need more interaction with staff and with doctors. I want to know if she had a shower or if she is getting her medication and if she is sleeping at night, having nightmares and eating nutritiously. Currently I am not getting this information. As an "assisted living" place they don't have a system of communication that meets my need for involvement in her well-being.

Last week, I discovered, through some networking, that there is a private care home right here in Crowley about 3 miles from our house - in town on the opposite corner from the high school! It is owned by a family who, as it turns out, we sat among during football season while our kids marched in the high school band. Anyway, they dedicated 3 bedrooms to the care of Alzheimer's patients after they remodeled their home for the care of their own family member several years ago and are now a licensed facility. They have two empty rooms at this time and are willing to take Mom. We are arranging the move for this week I think if everything works out. At this place, Mom will be able to have her peanut butter and jelly sandwich every morning, her coffee and Nonni's for snack and ice cream if she wants it. I don't know if it will make a difference in her but it will ease my mind. I anticipate a doctor appointment with her this week to discuss medications too. Mom has changed a lot and I think her medication need to be adjusted to ease her increasing anxiety and aggression.

You know I will keep you posted!

On another note, though, Stacey, David and the kids have been here more frequently and it has been so very peaceful and enjoyable for everyone. I can't express the calm and peace in our home again. I am sleeping through the night. I am not taking Xanex. I did not question that Mom was always supposed to be with us in our home. And I don't question now that it is time for her to be cared for by others so that my family is no longer torn apart by Mom's verbal abuse, anger and increasing needs.

That's as up-to-date and real as it gets for today. I think it will be a busy week and I will have more to report next week at this time. Stay tuned! We love you!