Hey, I'll bet you think you haven't heard from me in more than a week because, as I remember, I had a plan and things should be rockin' along. WRONG!! I have so much to tell you. So get comfortable and allow yourself some extra time to get through this with me. You know that this Blog is as much for me as it is for you! So here it is.
I did sleep well on Tuesday night and got to Tanglewood by 10:30 to give me time to make sure Mom was clean and presentable. She was not either when I got there. Mom had been wearing the same t-shirt with a big butterfly on it 24 hours a day for at least a week. When I suggested that she change it, she let me know in no uncertain terms that she was not going to take it off. Mom smelled like a dirty diaper so I let her know that she had to change her underwear, pad and slacks. That was not going to happen either! After some time spent trying to cajole her into complying, I got physical and snatched those elastic waste brown slacks down around her ankles. The panties and NASTY pad were next. Mom swung at me and called me several names but I managed to pry this clothing from under her feet which she tried her best to glue to the ground.
Okay, she is in mostly clean clothes. We have a little time to spare so I try to visit with her, distract her, get her into a good mood.
12:00, time to get to the car so that we can stop for a quick lunch before going into Dr. Birdwell's office. The next hour and a half was spent, no kidding!, trying to get Mom to get into my car. She has absolutely no capacity for reasoning and just could not fathom why she needed to go although I tried "let's have lunch, lets have ice cream, you have been saying you wanted to leave and now is your chance, you are sick and need to go to the doctor." I mean! We went around and then around again. She was adamant about going back into the building to her room. Long after we were going to be late to the doctor appointment, Mom let go of her walker and let me put it in the car and she reluctantly climbed into the front seat with the promise that we would be gone only a few minutes and I would bring her right back.
One block from Tanglewood, Mom was having such anxiety that I agreed that it was time to go back. When I was there earlier, I knew that the Physician's Assistant was on site seeing some of the residents. As I turned around to head back, I called Tanglewood to be sure that he was still there and insisted on seeing him when I arrived.
Back at TW, Mom was escorted to her room and I sat with the doctor, the Director and the Alzheimer's Unit manager and let them know that her care in the past month was totally unacceptable. At that time, I was shown a zip loc bag with at least 50 pills in it that Mom had refused to take. I was at that facility daily and asked about her. In the first week she was there, I was advised one day that she had refused to take her meds and I was able to get her to take them. That was the last I heard of it. Mom's behavior had become increasingly defiant and physical if anyone came near her and she felt threatened. She told me that her tummy did not feel well and on a number of occasions, I was told that she had vomited. Does this sound like someone who is coming off of some high powered anti-depressant, anti-anxiety and anti-psychotic drugs to you? Well it did to me too! The P.A. felt strongly that Mom had a UTI and that was the reason for this changed behavior. He wanted to prescribe an anti-biotic. Why? So it could end up in that little baggy with the rest of her pills? Duh!! Nonetheless, he ordered home health for Mom and a nurse was scheduled to see Mom later in the day to get a urine sample. I insisted if she had a UTI, she did not have it when she got there, because I made sure she was clean! I was a mess by this time! The unit manager agreed to take on Mom's care herself AND to communicate with me throughout the day about Mom's status. This was on Wednesday, March 17.
On Thursday, I picked Julie up from work at 4:30 and we went to TW. Mom was sitting in a chair outside her room clutching her purse. Staff came up and explained that Mom had lost one of the lenses out of her glasses and they did not know where it was. I finally go Mom to let me see her glasses and discovered they weren't even her glasses!
I still don't know where hers are. Staff reported that Mom had been difficult all day, refusing to eat, participate or change her clothes. When I inquired about the results of the urine test, I was informed that the nurse had come but that Mom slapped, kicked, grabbed and called her names and would not cooperate. Julie and I stayed only a short while because Mom was in a different world and was only connecting in order to be ugly and angry.
Before I left the parking lot that day, I phoned the Physician's Assistant and insisted that Mom be hospitalized before she hurt herself or others and to be treated for a UTI if there was one. He said he would speak to Dr. Le and within the hour, Dr. Le phoned to say that if we could get Mom there, he had arranged a room for her at the hospital. We discussed how to get her there and the "what ifs" and agreed to give it a try. I phoned TW and asked them to use the gel (part Ativan and part Haldol) on her wrists to subdue her and Joe and I left to try to pick her up.
By the time we got there, Mom was calm and agreeable and staff had walked her to the front door. We arrived at the hospital and although Mom had already been accepted there, I had to sign forms and answer questions. All of which takes time as it is ticking away and the gel could wear off at any time.
The sedation did finally wear off - just as we got to her room and tried to get her out of the wheel chair and into the bed! This was maybe about 8:00. At 11:00, Mom was still in the wheel chair and was carrying on what she thought was a conversation with me. At my suggestion, Joe arranged for Stacey to come pick him up so that he could go to work the next day and he could leave me a car. Before he left, I took Mom to the bathroom and Joe removed the wheel chair, forcing Mom to sit on the edge of the bed. Around that time, I was able to get her to take a pill - an Ativan. At 2:00 in the morning, Mom was still "chatting" with me when she closed her eyes, stopped talking a fell asleep straight up in the bed. I quickly laid her over and covered her up. At 2:30 I was headed home for two hours sleep and a few items like a toothbrush, a book to read, etc. I got back to the hospital before Mom woke up and before shift change at 6:00.
And tomorrow, (or the next day) you will get more of the story. I told you it was a whopper! I will leave you with this though: tonight Mom is resting comfortably and is doing better than she has in more than a month. I on the other hand...am taking donations for my mental health cruise to Mexico!
Buenos Noches!!
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